Herkenmoment Engels

That awkward moment when you're trying not to look when someone is staring at you.
The depressing moment when you realise you left something at home.
The awkward moment when you're trying to kill a spider but lose track of it, and suddenly you become a victim in your own home.
"What time is it?" "There's a clock right there." "DID I ASK YOU WHERE THE CLOCK WAS?!?"
Don't ask for my opinion and get mad when I tell you the truth.
Saying you're welcome really loud when people don't Thank you.
The awkward moment when all of your friends look gorgeous and you're just....there.
Why is the internet always 100% more interesting when you have homework?
Using the word "thingy" when you can't remember what something is called.
*Knock Knock* “Hold on I’m in the shower!” *Knock Knock Knock* “ I SAID I’m in the shower!” *BAM BAM BAM* #$@% Are you deafff!!! Arghhh!!
Just because I'm not talking, that doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet.
Life will be better if I decide not to care about what people think about me and all the drama around me.
That awkward moment when you're talking about someone and you realize that they're right behind you.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
The awkward moment when the ticket vendor says, 'Enjoy your movie' and you reply 'You too'.
3am phone call.... "Hey are you asleep???" ...."No I'm skydiving..."
It's funny how fast you put your seat-belt on when you see a cop next to you.
That awkward moment when the dentist keeps asking you questions while their hands are in your mouth.
When someone says they have to ask me a question, I think of all the bad things I’ve done recently.
Spelling a word so wrong that spell check can't even figure it out.
'Never Mind.' Definition: You should've listened the first time.
When you spell a word correctly but it looks wrong so you stare at it forever, questioning it's existence.
No, I will not share my iPod with you, it's an IPod not an UsPod.
That awkward moment when you're in the middle of telling a story and you realize it's pointless.
Taking a multiple choice test...a,b,a,c,a,c,b ...*doesn't know the answer*..well I havn't used d in awhile...
Looking at an old picture and wishing you could go back to that moment.
That awkward moment when you see a 10-year-old child with a better phone than yours.
Some people need a mute button.
When someone says "I like your shirt", I look down to see what I'm wearing.
That awkward moment when you're in the middle of telling a story and you realize it's pointless.
That loser moment when you see a bunch of people from school hanging out at the mall and you're there with your Mom.
When I lose: "Who cares, it's only a game.." When I win: "HA-HA! IN. YOUR. FACE!!"
Sorry, I can't. My sister's boyfriend's grandma's, friend's granddaughter's uncle's fish died. It was tragic..
When you spell a word correctly but it looks wrong so you stare at it forever, questioning it's existence.
I hate it when someone random jumps in my conversation and gives their opinion.
That awkward moment when you have to make up an excuse not to hang out with someone because you'd rather chill at home.
Yelling ''STAY!'' at a non-living object that keeps falling over as if it's going to listen to you.
When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.
The awkward moment when the teacher is looking for volunteers and you accidentally make eye contact.
"Can I copy your homework?" "Yeah, but the answers are probably all wro-" "I don't care, Thanks!"
"Haha, do you remember that?!" "Yeaaaah.. haaahaa.." "You don't remember do you?” "No."
Whenever you go to the doctors and the doctor asks you what's wrong you turn to your mom and she explains everything.
Putting your iPod on shuffle, then skipping through every single song to find a certain one.
The awkward moment when you start telling a story and realize no one’s listening so you slowly fade out and pretend you never said anything.
The awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong and THEY'RE the problem.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too…
I rather hear "I don't like you" Instead of being ignored.
The awkward moment when you find a bruise and have no idea how you got it.
Just because I'm not talking, doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet.
Disagreeing with someone, just to annoy them.
So you don't like me, and you think I care because...?
I have headphones in. Stop trying to talk to me.
Sometimes we forgive people simply because we still want them in our life.
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
I hate it when I make plans, get excited and then my mom says- "NO.."
That awkward moment when you’re watching a movie with your parents and the sex scene suddenly appears.
That awkward moment when an automatic door doesn’t open for you.
Listening to someone talk while your writing and accidently write down what they're saying.
Dear Headphones, stop having rough sex in my pocket. Sincerely, Tired of Untangling.
Dear teacher, would you mind not looking at my paper while I'm answering your test? Sincerely, it feels awkward.
Don't talk to me because you're bored, I'm not here to entertain you.
When you make an epic joke and everyone starts laughing and you sit there with so much power.
No I haven't met Mr. Right yet. But I have met Mr. Fake, Mr. Rude, and Mr.Player.
The scary part isn't seeing the spider. It's when you don't see it.
That awkward moment when you hear your own voice on a recording and think "Do I really sound like that!?"
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I get in bed, my body is like "Just kiddin'!"
That awkward moment when people think they're funny, but they're just annoying..
I’m the type of person that wants good grades but doesn't want to study.
The awkward moment when you're yelling at somebody and you mess up a word.
Touching things that say "do not touch" because you're a fearless bastard.
The awkward moment when you don’t know why you’re in a bad mood but you're just like *leave me alone*
I wonder if I've already met the person I'm going to marry.
I don't care if that's the most amazing picture of you ever, I look like a spaz, so you're deleting it.
I hate it when I'm watching a movie, but some one keeps trying to talk too me.
Doing something weird & think- This is why I'm not in a relationship.
Dear Life, When I asked if things could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Is it just me or Do all substitute teachers happen to have the weirdest last names?
Waking up first: Friends house: Sit there and wait for them to wake up. Bestfriends house: *Smashes them with a pillow* Wakeup I'm Hungry!
I tend to say "I dont know" when I'm too lazy to think.”
The awkward moment when you suddenly remember something really hilarious in a silent situation.
"HEYY COME HERE ITS IMPORTANT!!" “What" " Can you turn my light off?"
*Walking around supermarket* *Don`t see mom* ACT COOL, ACT COOL!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
That awkward moment when you know something but you don't know how to explain it.
That moment when you think to yourself, why did I just say that?
Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who both loved each other. Then a slut came along and ruined everything. The end.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
The little heart attack you have when someone says "I need to talk to you."
Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.
That moment when you miss one step on the stairs and you think you're about to die.
That awkward moment when everyone else quit laughing 10 minutes ago but you can't stop.
Cool story mom...... don't tell it again.
I love those random memories that make me smile no matter what's going on in my life right now.
Fake smiling? I'm a professional at that.
You never know what you have until... you clean your room.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious.
People keep telling me that the right person will come along... honestly, I think mine got hit by a truck.
That awkward moment when you see 9 year olds with boyfriends or girlfriends, while you're still single.
Weird conversations with your best friends that no one else ever understands.
Home alone: Expectation: "PARTY PARTY!!" Reality: "Peeing with the door open"
I may look calm but in my head I've killed you 3 times.
"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Wait... I don't get it..."
Not being able to finish a sentence because you're laughing so hard about the ending.
I laugh. I stop. I think about it again. I laugh even harder.
I can't hear you so I just laugh and hope it wasn't a question.
People who don’t know me think I’m quiet. People who know me wish I was.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it get's boring so I go back being me.
I understand. I just don't care.
Ever looked at your ex and wondered "Was I drunk the entire relationship?"
There's always a person that you hate for no reason.
I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet.
STRANGERS think I'm quiet. MY FRIENDS think I'm out-going. MY BESTFRIENDS know I'm completely insane!
I hate when people see me at the supermarket and are like, "HEY, what are you doing here?" and I'm like, "Oh you know, hunting animals..."
Sitting in a class and thinking, how did this teacher get the job?
Making faces with little kids while their parents aren't looking.
I hate it when I have an older family member on facebook and they comment on EVERYTHING I do.
How I see dogs: Beagle, German Shepherd, Poodle, Maltese, Labradore. - How I see cats: cat, cat, cat, cat, cat.
Using the word "thingy" when you can't remember what something is called.
I love when a question on a test gives the answer to another question.
Walking into a room and wondering what the fuck did i come in for?
The super awkward moment when you call your teacher 'mom'.
My entire life is a "You had to be there" moment.
I really it hate when I'm in a good mood and suddenly something bad happens and ruins everything.
"Hey is that.."- "Keep walking, keep walking, JUST KEEP WALKING!"
“Do you know how many calories are in that?” “…Do you know how many f*cks I give?”
Throwing your phone in anger, then checking if it's still okay.
You have no idea how many times I've tried to tell you the truth through my jokes.
Waiting like a dumbass to scare someone but end up leaving cause its taking forever.
When I play my music all my problems and life just disappears.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those fuckers live forever.
Lazy Rule: If it falls under the bed, it's gone. Forever.
Home: where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
When someone cancels on me last minute. I'm like "b*tch I showered for you!"
*Putting on jeans* Right leg, left leg, jump….DONE
That moment when you get a sweet text and you can’t stop smiling at your screen like a dummy.
"You had all weekend to do you homework!" Uhm, sorry bitch but i have a life...
Dreaming something awesome & wishing it will really happen in your life.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P
Apologizing to your pets when you accidentally hit them..
I hate when I go to a restaurant and they ask ‘would you like a table?’ Nawww , I want to eat in the bathroom…
"What time is it?" "There's a clock right there" "DID I ASK YOU WERE THE CLOCK WAS?"
That annoying moment when you close the wrong tab.
Friend: Can I ask you for relationship advice? Me: Sure, but you might end up single.
Two days are not enough for a weekend.
I'd love to stay and chat, But you're a total bitch.
*Crush steals food* heyy! *flirty push* *Regular person steals food* GIVE ME MY SHIT BACK B*TCH! *Drop kick*
*Phone vibrates at home* Barely hear it. *Phone vibrates at school* earthquake.If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
We all have a friend who never has a clue of what's going on.
I am not rude. I just say how it is. Truth hurts.
There should be an "I'm cooking" button on smoke detectors.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.” Sincerely, Everybody.
For me, Facebook died the day I joined Twitter.
That awkward moment when you’re left alone with someone you just met.
I’ve been making the same mistakes in life for so long, I should just call them traditions!
I ask Google all the questions I’m too embarrassed to ask other people.
Just because I say something you've never heard before, Doesn't mean it's wrong.
"OH, I GET IT!" ( Teacher walks away ) "Dude, I STILL dont get it."
That awkward moment when everyone else has stopped laughing, and you're the only one who still thinks that it's hilarious.
A teen brain is 80% song lyrics.
My life is so much interesting inside my head.
10 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Twitter … When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers.
When you’re walking then start texting and walk slower and slower and slower til you’re just standing there texting.
That awesome moment when you open a jar everyone else was struggling with.
I hate math, but I love counting money.
That moment when you finish an awesome movie and you have to face the reality of your boring life.
Not knowing what to text back but not wanting the conversation to end.
"Don't talk to strangers" Well, how am I supposed to make friends?
I don't always study. But when I do, I make sure my parents notice that shit.
That one friend who always brings up a mistake you made years ago.
They should print books with glow-in-the-dark ink so you can read at night.
Disagreeing with someone just to annoy them.
There's a difference between being funny and being annoying.
I wish my summer vacation was as long as Phineas & Ferb's.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences. But honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
I haven't talked to you because I don't know what to say anymore.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Saying "fuck it" before you do something stupid.
A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their wi-fi.
Starting the night with "This is a fucking terrible idea" will usually end up being an awesome night.
That awkward moment when you trip... then turn it into a short jog to play it off.
I hate it when people try to tell ME what I said.
Mission Impossible: Not Answering a stupid question with a sarcastic answer.
It's amazing how stupid you can be when you're in love.
Doing the "I'm thinking real hard face" when the teacher looks at you.
No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with.
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
That awkward moment when you trip, over nothing.
*Girls on facebook* “Getting starbucks with Jenny!” *4 minutes later* 87 pictures and 3 videos uploaded.
First thing I do in the Morning is look at the clock and pray I have more time to sleep.
Stupid things become 10 times more entertaining when you have homework to do.
Being such a good cook that even the fire alarm cheers you on.
Teacher:"Where's your homework?" Me:"I lose it" *20 mins later* Me:"I found it!" Teacher:"No, you just did it."
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
I make time for people who make time for me.
Slamming the door shut, so everybody in the house knows you're pissed off.
"hH3Lloo" "who's this?" "tH1z 1z mE" "oh.. Now I remember why I deleted your number.. "
That person in class that always acts like they're Albert Einstein. Calm your tits.
"Are you sleeping?" "NO BRO! IM TRYING TO DIE!"
Thank you, warning label. I almost took my hair dryer in the shower. Whew.
Swimming: 5% Swimming. 95% just doing flips and handstands in the water.
Fast replies make me feel like you actually want to talk to me but slow replies make me think you're talking to someone better.
That awkward moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Just because we're friends on Facebook, doesn't mean I'm going to talk to you in REAL Life.
I can’t properly clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.
Missing someone + No texts/calls from them = The worst feeling.
That look you give your friends when someone attractive walks in the room.
It sucks when you're ignored by the one person who's attention means the world to you.
I like texting people who actually text real convos, and and not just "k, yup, yeah, k, I know, yeah, cool, lol.."
I hate it when you miss someone and they seem to not even care.
What I miss most: Being a little kid with no stress, worries, or care in the world.
Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.
Even staring at the wall becomes interesting while studying.
Hating somebody before you even meet them and then you end up becoming best friends.
I love YouTube..one minute I’m watching a music video and before I know it I’m seeing people breaking their legs doing dumb stuff.
That amazing feeling when you have a SUPER clean bedroom.
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
If someone's too busy for me, I lose interest.
I don't care how old you are... if a balloon is about to hit the floor, you dive for that shit!
I'm that teen who couldn't go a day without music.
That Awkward moment when your Ex tries to talk to you and you're just like, “HAHA. No. Bye!”
That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that spell check has no suggestions.
That awkward moment when you have a coughing attack in a silent room full of people.
Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean that I am wrong.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
I am not rude. I just say how it is. Truth hurts.
Some people are so fake it makes me sick.
Those texts you accidentally send to the wrong person are always the worst ones.
The awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber to open it.
That awkward moment when you wait for a text but then you realize you're the one who didn't reply.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day.
That awkward moment when a little kid stares at you like you have done something wrong.
That moment when you hear someone call your bestfriend their bestfriend and you're like..... No.
When you’re doing something you aren’t supposed to, every small noise scares the crap out of you.
In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills.
I like food more than people...
"When I was a kid.." Shut up bro, I still do that.
Who remembers blowing air into their nintendo 64s to get it to work?
In reality, people only need you when they need something.
Cashier: "Are you buying all these?" Me: "No, I'm stealing them. I just wanted to show you first."
My parents thinks my friends are bad influences. But honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
That awkward moment when sarcasm doesn’t work in a text.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
How is it that I can remember words to a song from years ago but can't remember what the hell I studied for last night.
Just because I can't sing does not mean I won't sing.
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.
I love people I can be weird with.
That one friend that can make anything funny just by the way they talk.
Saying "Oh yeah, I remember" when you really don't and just want them to shut up.
"Lol" is not a message worth replying to.
It's cute when couples act like bestfriends or when bestfriends act like couples.
Dear dramatic bitch, grow the hell up. No one cares about your bullshit.
I restart the whole song when I miss my favorite part.
Why do parents think it's so easy to get straight A's?
I hate it when you're super excited for something and everything goes wrong...
When I have money = nothing to buy. When I don't have money = I want everything.
In the morning there's a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Laughing so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
Taking 30 minutes to shower, because you like to stand there, under the hot water, just thinking about life.
I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
When little kids are chasing me, I run slow so they think they're fast.
When you’re a kid, “I’m going to tell your mom” is the scariest sentence ever.
If you obey all the rules you'll miss all the fun.
Saying "what" but then one second later realizing what they said.
"You're so pretty!" ... "No I'm not!" ... "Listen, STFU & accept the compliment!"
"You're too cute to be single." and you're too ugly to be flirting with me.
I'm never really sure if I'm hungry or just bored.
Oh, do you remember that time when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
Seeing a boy younger than you, and thinking "Damn, you're gonna be fine." then mentally yelling at yourself for being a creep.
We all have that one creepy neighbor that never comes out of their house.
Boy: Hi. Girl: I have a boyfriend. Boy: I said hi, not suck my dick.
Seeing guys play with little kids is probably one of the most attractive things ever.
To all the people who don't understand my sarcasm. You ruin everything..
Me: Breath if you find me attractive! *Entire human race dies from lack of oxygen*
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
A year ago I would've never guessed life would be the way it is now.
*Alarm set for 6:00 a.m* *Wakes up at 5:59* Who else lies back down to cherish that last minute of sleep?
That person in your class you just want to throw a brick at.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook. When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers .
Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life's decisions.
That one person whose presence just instantaneously pisses you off.
1 new message: runs for phone, jumps over sofa, runs a marathon, swims Atlantic ocean, pushes mom out the way. grabs phone...."k" FUUUUUU!
Everything is funnier when you're with your bestfriend.
Me: Okay brain, lets focus for just 45 minutes on this math test we can do this. Brain: DADAAA LA BANANA LALALALALA AFRO DADADA POTATO LALAA
If you were never there for me, expect a “Fuck You” when you need me to be there for you.
IN CLASS: "I'll just do this at home." AT HOME: "I'll just do this in class."
That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth but you laugh during it, and everybody thinks you're lying.
Everything is funnier when you're with your bestfriend.
When I go to bed, half the time I'm not really sleeping. I'm usually lying there making up scenarios in my head...
I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
Restarting the whole song because you missed your favorite line.
I don't have an attitude problem... you have a problem with my attitude.
*Press a toy in the store* *won't stop making noises* *pretend that you dont know anything*
Sometimes, even if it wasn't funny, I respond "haha" just to make them feel good.
One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark.
Admit it, you've Googled yourself before.
Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot.
I remember when I was a kid, I went on the computer just to use paint.
Talking to yourself and laughing because you're just that hilarious
Yes, I'm a girl, I can go from normal to bitch in 2 seconds.
I act like I don't care, but deep inside, i don't give a f*ck
Boy or girl, I'm gonna call you "dude" either way.
People who text back instantly. I like that shit.
Parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!! Clock: 11:01 Me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now.
I love when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.
I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use x² + y +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 in real life.
"Hey, remember when you had a crush on-" "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Strangers: "Excuse me, please." Family: "Let me get through." Best friends: "Get the fuck out of my way, bitch!"
There's always one girl in your school that is obsessed with horses.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.
That risky naked run from the bathroom, to the bedroom.
Doctor: "Ok, so what's wrong, how are you feeling?" Me: *Looks at mom waiting for her to explain*
You know you're desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of google.
If I'm in a bad mood DON'T TOUCH ME. Don't poke me, tickle me, grab me.. Nothing. I will break your arm.
The awkward moment when people text you first and then don't keep the conversation going.
Things I'm bad at: singing. Things I do a lot: sing.
First day of school: 30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 rulers, 10 notebooks. End of school year: 1 pencil you found in the hallway.
Stop making me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.
Mentally preparing yourself to step out of the shower during winter.
I'm the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened yesterday.
That weird awkward run you do when a car lets you cross the street.
That awkward moment when someone assumes you care about their opinion.
That one person that makes you want to raise your middle finger every time they speak to you.
That person in every class who thinks they are Albert Einstein. Calm your tits.
Me in class: Wait.... what happened? What do we do? What do we write? When's the test? What is this? How do you do this? What?
I hate when the teacher forgets to erase a few marks on the board.
That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a damn lightsaber to open it.
I mentally murder people I don't like.
1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands,7 seas, over 6 billion people, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
GOING TO BED: Me: *lays down* Me: *forgot to turn the light off* Me: *has to pee* Me: *remembers homework*
That awkward moment when you get home and look at yourself in the mirror thinking…. did I really look like this all day?
If I say "ok" during an argument, that means "shut the fuck up", not "keep explaining your point".
''MOM! i can't find it'' '' if i come up there and i'll see it... you're dead'' ''...found it.."
I eat my least favorite part of the meal first, to save the best for last.
I hate it when I ask someone if they want some of my food and they say "yes"
Dear teacher, When 90% of us fail, it isn't because we didn't try, its because you're a terrible teacher. Sincerely, your students.
Deleting one "ha" from from your "hahahahaha" because you feel like it's too much.
That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and you step on a random wet spot.
That awkward moment when you're not sure whether teacher is looking at you or she's looking at the person behind you...
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you couldn't do.
"I'm going to bed" .. really means .. "I'm going to lie on my bed and be on my phone."
That awkward moment when you're supposed to be cleaning your room and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one.
Oh, I'm a few minutes late to class? Please, stare at me like I just killed five people.
There is always that one girl in your grade that is obsessed with horses.
*stalking crush on facebook.* *accidently likes picture from 2008.* *deletes facebook.* *sets computer on fire.*
When you're in bed and you can't sleep, so you just lay there making mental movies of perfect scenario's in life.
So tired from doing absolutely nothing all day.
Person: "Hey are you okay?" Me: "Yeah, just having a bad day...week...month...year...life...existence."
The only thing I gained from 2012 was weight.
I’m not anti-social, most people just suck.
Interrupt my sleep and I'll interrupt your breathing.
When my name's in a math problem: Class: *Stares at me* Me: "That's right bitches. I bought 60 watermelons."
That awkward moment when there's a hair in your mouth and you can't find it so you're just grabbing your tongue, in public.
I wish mirrors and pictures would get together and agree on what I really look like...
That awkward moment when someone walks in your room when you're singing.
Pretending to care about a teacher's personal life, to waste time in class.
That awkward moment when someone thinner than you says they’re fat. *bitch, If you’re fat then I must be the size of Jupiter*
I don't eat because I'm hungry. I eat because I'm bored.
That moment when you walk through a spider web and instantly become a karate master.
Texting with one finger because you're eating.
"Did you do the homework?" "No." "Okay good me neither, I'm not the only one."
It's all fun and games till you realize your Capri Sun doesn’t have a straw.
It's funny how you can do nice things for people all the time, and they never notice. But once you make one mistake, it's never forgotten.
That awkward moment when you're halfway through telling a story and you realize it's a stupid story...
I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.
"Hey, it's been 6 seconds, go check your phone again!" - My Brain
Apology accepted, trust denied.
My give-a-shits are like ninjas. You never see them.
When somebody says “10 years ago” I think about the 90’s instead of 2002.
I can't sleep with socks on.
That was actually pretty funny, but I don't like you. Therefore I won't laugh.
When I am available no one texts me. But when I am busy... BAM! Still no one texts me.
I'm the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened yesterday.
When there's a bug in the room? Me: "Challenge accepted!" When you find out this motherfucker can fly!? Shit just got real.
I never text you anymore? You know phones works both ways right?
Me: "I have to tell you this story about-" *starts laughing* *deep breath* Ok there was this... *starts laughing*
My life: Wake up, survive, sleep.
I wonder if I'm that friend everybody secretly hates.
Gasoline smells so good to me. Am I the only one?
When I say "I miss school", I mean I miss my friends and all the fun, not the school.
When you drop something and just stare at it because you're too lazy to pick it up.
Best feeling ever: Waking up and seeing you still got a couple hours to sleep.
Do you ever just wanna do a back flip but then you realize you can't.
I spent my entire childhood wishing I was older. Now I'm older... and it sucks...
The awkward moment when you have 9001 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
The awkward moment when you realize you're wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
There's a difference between... "okay" "okay?" "okay..." "okayy" and.. "K."
I love people I can be weird with.
I wish I could mute people in real life...
I'm sick of bitches, bitching about other bitches being bitches.
A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their wifi.
I hate it when i meow at cats and they dont meow back. Unbelievably rude...
Getting a text, but not remembering what you said before...
When you meet me, you think I am quiet. Then you get to know me and just wish I was quiet...
(taking a test) *circles yes* If yes please explain answer. *Erases answer* Circles No.
"WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY... Oh... Here it is..."
Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video?
I wanna be a nice person but everyone is so stupid.
We all have that one skinny friend who eats more than an elephant.
The awkward moment when you type your password into the username section and you hope that no one saw it.
Me a nerd? Haha no, I'm just making sure I don't end up working at McDonalds with you in the future.
I'm not a morning person or a night time person, I don’t think I’m even a person.
The only problem with you is that you exist.
Well maybe I can't sing but that doesn't mean I won't sing.
If you think I hate you I probably do bye.
Lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee...
Don't ask for my opinion then get mad when I tell you the truth.
I just don't have enough middle fingers for today.
Before you “assume” try this crazy method called “asking”.
Is it bad that I like food more than people?
Didn't give a fuck yesterday, don't give a fuck today, probably won't give a fuck tomorrow.
Going to bed...forgot to turn lights off...remembers homework...has to pee...
Person: You're blocking the view. Me: I am the view.
Can we just skip this whole "school" thing and go straight to the part where I have a really awesome job and spend all my time travelling.
I'm the type of person that wants to get good grades, but doesn't want to study.
Reasons to date me: 1. no one will try and steal me from you 2. sometimes im funny
Your existence pisses me off.
Whatever, I'll just date myself.
"Page 404 not found." But I wasn't even looking for page 404.
That awkward moment when you come back from something and someone decided to steal your seat.
People: "You're so quiet, you never talk." Me: "Oh I talk, just not to you."
That annoying moment when you're behind a slow walker and there's nothing you can do to get around them.
If I was a bird you would be the 1st person I'd shit on.
The only reason why i love school is because it's the place where all my friends are.
Sometimes i pretend to be normal. But it gets boring, so i go back to being me.
When I was a kid, I hated going to bed. Now I cherish every hour of sleep.
Hardest thing ever? Controlling your laughter at serious times.
I clapped because it finished, not because i liked it.
I do weird faces in photos because it's better to look ugly on purpose.
I restart the whole song when I miss my favorite part.
My relationship status: Went from being "single" to "still single".
Piece of advice: Don't fuck with me while I'm hungry...
I dont always understand a subject but when I do... Its after the test.
I have never actually seen a yellow duck.
Homework: If it goes too easy, you're doing it wrong.
That awkward moment when you accidentally use a ;) instead of a :) and it makes the whole conversation sexual.
That awkward moment when someone compliments you and you're torn between saying, "thank you" and "I know."
I think that school,red lights and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
I'm not arguing, I'm simply explaining why I am right.
Dating Advice: Date me.
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
I left all my fucks to give at home.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent."
"Quick, everyone act natural!" *Everyone strikes the most unnatural pose ever*
Don't text me if you're gonna take 10 fucking years to text back.
I seriously had a better damn social life when I was about 8 years old.

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