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Herkenmoment Engels

  • That awkward moment when you're trying not to look when someone is staring at you.
  • The depressing moment when you realise you left something at home.
  • The awkward moment when you're trying to kill a spider but lose track of it, and suddenly you become a victim in your own home.
  • "What time is it?" "There's a clock right there." "DID I ASK YOU WHERE THE CLOCK WAS?!?"
  • Don't ask for my opinion and get mad when I tell you the truth.
  • Saying you're welcome really loud when people don't Thank you.
  • The awkward moment when all of your friends look gorgeous and you're just....there.
  • Why is the internet always 100% more interesting when you have homework?
  • Using the word "thingy" when you can't remember what something is called.
  • *Knock Knock* “Hold on I’m in the shower!” *Knock Knock Knock* “ I SAID I’m in the shower!” *BAM BAM BAM* #$@% Are you deafff!!! Arghhh!!
  • Just because I'm not talking, that doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet.
  • Life will be better if I decide not to care about what people think about me and all the drama around me.
  • That awkward moment when you're talking about someone and you realize that they're right behind you.
  • Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
  • The awkward moment when the ticket vendor says, 'Enjoy your movie' and you reply 'You too'.
  • 3am phone call.... "Hey are you asleep???" ...."No I'm skydiving..."
  • It's funny how fast you put your seat-belt on when you see a cop next to you.
  • That awkward moment when the dentist keeps asking you questions while their hands are in your mouth.
  • When someone says they have to ask me a question, I think of all the bad things I’ve done recently.
  • Spelling a word so wrong that spell check can't even figure it out.
  • 'Never Mind.' Definition: You should've listened the first time.
  • When you spell a word correctly but it looks wrong so you stare at it forever, questioning it's existence.
  • No, I will not share my iPod with you, it's an IPod not an UsPod.
  • That awkward moment when you're in the middle of telling a story and you realize it's pointless.
  • Taking a multiple choice test...a,b,a,c,a,c,b ...*doesn't know the answer*..well I havn't used d in awhile...
  • Looking at an old picture and wishing you could go back to that moment.
  • That awkward moment when you see a 10-year-old child with a better phone than yours.
  • Some people need a mute button.
  • When someone says "I like your shirt", I look down to see what I'm wearing.
  • That awkward moment when you're in the middle of telling a story and you realize it's pointless.
  • That loser moment when you see a bunch of people from school hanging out at the mall and you're there with your Mom.
  • When I lose: "Who cares, it's only a game.." When I win: "HA-HA! IN. YOUR. FACE!!"
  • Sorry, I can't. My sister's boyfriend's grandma's, friend's granddaughter's uncle's fish died. It was tragic..
  • When you spell a word correctly but it looks wrong so you stare at it forever, questioning it's existence.
  • I hate it when someone random jumps in my conversation and gives their opinion.
  • That awkward moment when you have to make up an excuse not to hang out with someone because you'd rather chill at home.
  • Yelling ''STAY!'' at a non-living object that keeps falling over as if it's going to listen to you.
  • When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.
  • The awkward moment when the teacher is looking for volunteers and you accidentally make eye contact.
  • "Can I copy your homework?" "Yeah, but the answers are probably all wro-" "I don't care, Thanks!"
  • "Haha, do you remember that?!" "Yeaaaah.. haaahaa.." "You don't remember do you?” "No."
  • Whenever you go to the doctors and the doctor asks you what's wrong you turn to your mom and she explains everything.
  • Putting your iPod on shuffle, then skipping through every single song to find a certain one.
  • The awkward moment when you start telling a story and realize no one’s listening so you slowly fade out and pretend you never said anything.
  • The awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong and THEY'RE the problem.
  • Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too…
  • I rather hear "I don't like you" Instead of being ignored.
  • The awkward moment when you find a bruise and have no idea how you got it.
  • Just because I'm not talking, doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet.
  • Disagreeing with someone, just to annoy them.
  • So you don't like me, and you think I care because...?
  • I have headphones in. Stop trying to talk to me.
  • Sometimes we forgive people simply because we still want them in our life.
  • When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
  • I hate it when I make plans, get excited and then my mom says- "NO.."
  • That awkward moment when you’re watching a movie with your parents and the sex scene suddenly appears.
  • That awkward moment when an automatic door doesn’t open for you.
  • Listening to someone talk while your writing and accidently write down what they're saying.
  • Dear Headphones, stop having rough sex in my pocket. Sincerely, Tired of Untangling.
  • Dear teacher, would you mind not looking at my paper while I'm answering your test? Sincerely, it feels awkward.
  • Don't talk to me because you're bored, I'm not here to entertain you.
  • When you make an epic joke and everyone starts laughing and you sit there with so much power.
  • No I haven't met Mr. Right yet. But I have met Mr. Fake, Mr. Rude, and Mr.Player.
  • The scary part isn't seeing the spider. It's when you don't see it.
  • That awkward moment when you hear your own voice on a recording and think "Do I really sound like that!?"
  • I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I get in bed, my body is like "Just kiddin'!"
  • That awkward moment when people think they're funny, but they're just annoying..
  • I’m the type of person that wants good grades but doesn't want to study.
  • The awkward moment when you're yelling at somebody and you mess up a word.
  • Touching things that say "do not touch" because you're a fearless bastard.
  • The awkward moment when you don’t know why you’re in a bad mood but you're just like *leave me alone*
  • I wonder if I've already met the person I'm going to marry.
  • I don't care if that's the most amazing picture of you ever, I look like a spaz, so you're deleting it.
  • I hate it when I'm watching a movie, but some one keeps trying to talk too me.
  • Doing something weird & think- This is why I'm not in a relationship.
  • Dear Life, When I asked if things could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
  • Is it just me or Do all substitute teachers happen to have the weirdest last names?
  • Waking up first: Friends house: Sit there and wait for them to wake up. Bestfriends house: *Smashes them with a pillow* Wakeup I'm Hungry!
  • I tend to say "I dont know" when I'm too lazy to think.”
  • The awkward moment when you suddenly remember something really hilarious in a silent situation.
  • "HEYY COME HERE ITS IMPORTANT!!"  “What" " Can you turn my light off?"
  • *Walking around supermarket* *Don`t see mom* ACT COOL, ACT COOL!
  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • That awkward moment when you know something but you don't know how to explain it.
  • That moment when you think to yourself, why did I just say that?
  • Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who both loved each other. Then a slut came along and ruined everything. The end.
  • The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
  • I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
  • The little heart attack you have when someone says "I need to talk to you."
  • Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.
  • That moment when you miss one step on the stairs and you think you're about to die.
  • That awkward moment when everyone else quit laughing 10 minutes ago but you can't stop.
  • Cool story mom...... don't tell it again.
  • I love those random memories that make me smile no matter what's going on in my life right now.
  • Fake smiling? I'm a professional at that.
  • You never know what you have until... you clean your room.
  • I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious.
  • People keep telling me that the right person will come along... honestly, I think mine got hit by a truck.
  • That awkward moment when you see 9 year olds with boyfriends or girlfriends, while you're still single.
  • Weird conversations with your best friends that no one else ever understands.
  • Home alone: Expectation: "PARTY PARTY!!" Reality: "Peeing with the door open"
  • I may look calm but in my head I've killed you 3 times.
  • "WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Wait... I don't get it..."
  • Not being able to finish a sentence because you're laughing so hard about the ending.
  • I laugh. I stop. I think about it again. I laugh even harder.
  • I can't hear you so I just laugh and hope it wasn't a question.
  • People who don’t know me think I’m quiet. People who know me wish I was.
  • Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it get's boring so I go back being me.
  • I understand. I just don't care.
  • Ever looked at your ex and wondered "Was I drunk the entire relationship?"
  • There's always a person that you hate for no reason.
  • I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet.
  • STRANGERS think I'm quiet. MY FRIENDS think I'm out-going. MY BESTFRIENDS know I'm completely insane!
  • I hate when people see me at the supermarket and are like, "HEY, what are you doing here?" and I'm like, "Oh you know, hunting animals..."
  • Sitting in a class and thinking, how did this teacher get the job?
  • Making faces with little kids while their parents aren't looking.
  • I hate it when I have an older family member on facebook and they comment on EVERYTHING I do.
  • How I see dogs: Beagle, German Shepherd, Poodle, Maltese, Labradore. - How I see cats: cat, cat, cat, cat, cat.
  • Using the word "thingy" when you can't remember what something is called.
  • I love when a question on a test gives the answer to another question.
  • Walking into a room and wondering what the fuck did i come in for?
  • The super awkward moment when you call your teacher 'mom'.
  • My entire life is a "You had to be there" moment.
  • I really it hate when I'm in a good mood and suddenly something bad happens and ruins everything.
  • "Hey is that.."- "Keep walking, keep walking, JUST KEEP WALKING!"
  • “Do you know how many calories are in that?” “…Do you know how many f*cks I give?”
  • Throwing your phone in anger, then checking if it's still okay.
  • You have no idea how many times I've tried to tell you the truth through my jokes.
  • Waiting like a dumbass to scare someone but end up leaving cause its taking forever.
  • When I play my music all my problems and life just disappears.
  • Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those fuckers live forever.
  • Lazy Rule: If it falls under the bed, it's gone. Forever.
  • Home: where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
  • When someone cancels on me last minute. I'm like "b*tch I showered for you!"
  • *Putting on jeans* Right leg, left leg, jump….DONE
  • That moment when you get a sweet text and you can’t stop smiling at your screen like a dummy.
  • "You had all weekend to do you homework!" Uhm, sorry bitch but i have a life...
  • Dreaming something awesome & wishing it will really happen in your life.
  • When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P
  • Apologizing to your pets when you accidentally hit them..
  • I hate when I go to a restaurant and they ask ‘would you like a table?’ Nawww , I want to eat in the bathroom…
  • "What time is it?" "There's a clock right there" "DID I ASK YOU WERE THE CLOCK WAS?"
  • That annoying moment when you close the wrong tab.
  • Friend: Can I ask you for relationship advice? Me: Sure, but you might end up single.
  • Two days are not enough for a weekend.
  • I'd love to stay and chat, But you're a total bitch.
  • *Crush steals food* heyy! *flirty push* *Regular person steals food* GIVE ME MY SHIT BACK B*TCH! *Drop kick*
  • *Phone vibrates at home* Barely hear it. *Phone vibrates at school* earthquake.If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
  • I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
  • We all have a friend who never has a clue of what's going on.
  • I am not rude. I just say how it is. Truth hurts.
  • There should be an "I'm cooking" button on smoke detectors.
  • Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.” Sincerely, Everybody.
  • For me, Facebook died the day I joined Twitter.
  • That awkward moment when you’re left alone with someone you just met.
  • I’ve been making the same mistakes in life for so long, I should just call them traditions!
  • I ask Google all the questions I’m too embarrassed to ask other people.
  • Just because I say something you've never heard before, Doesn't mean it's wrong.
  • "OH, I GET IT!" ( Teacher walks away ) "Dude, I STILL dont get it."
  • That awkward moment when everyone else has stopped laughing, and you're the only one who still thinks that it's hilarious.
  • A teen brain is 80% song lyrics.
  • My life is so much interesting inside my head.
  • 10 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Twitter … When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers.
  • When you’re walking then start texting and walk slower and slower and slower til you’re just standing there texting.
  • That awesome moment when you open a jar everyone else was struggling with.
  • I hate math, but I love counting money.
  • That moment when you finish an awesome movie and you have to face the reality of your boring life.
  • Not knowing what to text back but not wanting the conversation to end.
  • "Don't talk to strangers" Well, how am I supposed to make friends?
  • I don't always study. But when I do, I make sure my parents notice that shit.
  • That one friend who always brings up a mistake you made years ago.
  • They should print books with glow-in-the-dark ink so you can read at night.
  • Disagreeing with someone just to annoy them.
  • There's a difference between being funny and being annoying.
  • I wish my summer vacation was as long as Phineas & Ferb's.
  • My mom thinks my friends are bad influences. But honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
  • I haven't talked to you because I don't know what to say anymore.
  • Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  • Saying "fuck it" before you do something stupid.
  • A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their wi-fi.
  • Starting the night with "This is a fucking terrible idea" will usually end up being an awesome night.
  • That awkward moment when you trip... then turn it into a short jog to play it off.
  • I hate it when people try to tell ME what I said.
  • Mission Impossible: Not Answering a stupid question with a sarcastic answer.
  • It's amazing how stupid you can be when you're in love.
  • Doing the "I'm thinking real hard face" when the teacher looks at you.
  • No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with.
  • That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
  • That awkward moment when you trip, over nothing.
  • *Girls on facebook* “Getting starbucks with Jenny!” *4 minutes later* 87 pictures and 3 videos uploaded.
  • First thing I do in the Morning is look at the clock and pray I have more time to sleep.
  • Stupid things become 10 times more entertaining when you have homework to do.
  • Being such a good cook that even the fire alarm cheers you on.
  • Teacher:"Where's your homework?" Me:"I lose it" *20 mins later* Me:"I found it!" Teacher:"No, you just did it."
  • My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
  • I make time for people who make time for me.
  • Slamming the door shut, so everybody in the house knows you're pissed off.
  • "hH3Lloo" "who's this?" "tH1z 1z mE" "oh.. Now I remember why I deleted your number.. "
  • That person in class that always acts like they're Albert Einstein. Calm your tits.
  • "Are you sleeping?" "NO BRO! IM TRYING TO DIE!"
  • Thank you, warning label. I almost took my hair dryer in the shower. Whew.
  • Swimming: 5% Swimming. 95% just doing flips and handstands in the water.
  • Fast replies make me feel like you actually want to talk to me but slow replies make me think you're talking to someone better.
  • That awkward moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
  • Just because we're friends on Facebook, doesn't mean I'm going to talk to you in REAL Life.
  • I can’t properly clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.
  • Missing someone + No texts/calls from them = The worst feeling.
  • That look you give your friends when someone attractive walks in the room.
  • It sucks when you're ignored by the one person who's attention means the world to you.
  • I like texting people who actually text real convos, and and not just "k, yup, yeah, k, I know, yeah, cool, lol.."
  • I hate it when you miss someone and they seem to not even care.
  • What I miss most: Being a little kid with no stress, worries, or care in the world.
  • Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.
  • Even staring at the wall becomes interesting while studying.
  • Hating somebody before you even meet them and then you end up becoming best friends.
  • I love YouTube..one minute I’m watching a music video and before I know it I’m seeing people breaking their legs doing dumb stuff.
  • That amazing feeling when you have a SUPER clean bedroom.
  • That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
  • If someone's too busy for me, I lose interest.
  • I don't care how old you are... if a balloon is about to hit the floor, you dive for that shit!
  • I'm that teen who couldn't go a day without music.
  • That Awkward moment when your Ex tries to talk to you and you're just like, “HAHA. No. Bye!”
  • That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that spell check has no suggestions.
  • That awkward moment when you have a coughing attack in a silent room full of people.
  • Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean that I am wrong.
  • I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
  • I am not rude. I just say how it is. Truth hurts.
  • Some people are so fake it makes me sick.
  • Those texts you accidentally send to the wrong person are always the worst ones.
  • The awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.
  • That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a lightsaber to open it.
  • That awkward moment when you wait for a text but then you realize you're the one who didn't reply.
  • Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day.
  • That awkward moment when a little kid stares at you like you have done something wrong.
  • That moment when you hear someone call your bestfriend their bestfriend and you're like..... No.
  • When you’re doing something you aren’t supposed to, every small noise scares the crap out of you.
  • In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills.
  • I like food more than people...
  • "When I was a kid.." Shut up bro, I still do that.
  • Who remembers blowing air into their nintendo 64s to get it to work?
  • In reality, people only need you when they need something.
  • Cashier: "Are you buying all these?" Me: "No, I'm stealing them. I just wanted to show you first."
  • My parents thinks my friends are bad influences. But honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
  • That awkward moment when sarcasm doesn’t work in a text.
  • I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
  • How is it that I can remember words to a song from years ago but can't remember what the hell I studied for last night.
  • Just because I can't sing does not mean I won't sing.
  • I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.
  • I love people I can be weird with.
  • That one friend that can make anything funny just by the way they talk.
  • Saying "Oh yeah, I remember" when you really don't and just want them to shut up.
  • "Lol" is not a message worth replying to.
  • It's cute when couples act like bestfriends or when bestfriends act like couples.
  • Dear dramatic bitch, grow the hell up. No one cares about your bullshit.
  • I restart the whole song when I miss my favorite part.
  • Why do parents think it's so easy to get straight A's?
  • I hate it when you're super excited for something and everything goes wrong...
  • When I have money = nothing to buy. When I don't have money = I want everything.
  • In the morning there's a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
  • I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
  • Laughing so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
  • Taking 30 minutes to shower, because you like to stand there, under the hot water, just thinking about life.
  • I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
  • When little kids are chasing me, I run slow so they think they're fast.
  • When you’re a kid, “I’m going to tell your mom” is the scariest sentence ever.
  • If you obey all the rules you'll miss all the fun.
  • Saying "what" but then one second later realizing what they said.
  • "You're so pretty!" ... "No I'm not!" ... "Listen, STFU & accept the compliment!"
  • "You're too cute to be single." and you're too ugly to be flirting with me.
  • I'm never really sure if I'm hungry or just bored.
  • Oh, do you remember that time when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
  • Seeing a boy younger than you, and thinking "Damn, you're gonna be fine." then mentally yelling at yourself for being a creep.
  • We all have that one creepy neighbor that never comes out of their house.
  • Boy: Hi. Girl: I have a boyfriend. Boy: I said hi, not suck my dick.
  • Seeing guys play with little kids is probably one of the most attractive things ever.
  • To all the people who don't understand my sarcasm. You ruin everything..
  • Me: Breath if you find me attractive! *Entire human race dies from lack of oxygen*
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • A year ago I would've never guessed life would be the way it is now.
  • *Alarm set for 6:00 a.m* *Wakes up at 5:59* Who else lies back down to cherish that last minute of sleep?
  • That person in your class you just want to throw a brick at.
  • 9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook. When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers .
  • Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life's decisions.
  • That one person whose presence just instantaneously pisses you off.
  • 1 new message: runs for phone, jumps over sofa, runs a marathon, swims Atlantic ocean, pushes mom out the way. grabs phone...."k" FUUUUUU!
  • Everything is funnier when you're with your bestfriend.
  • Me: Okay brain, lets focus for just 45 minutes on this math test we can do this. Brain: DADAAA LA BANANA LALALALALA AFRO DADADA POTATO LALAA
  • If you were never there for me, expect a “Fuck You” when you need me to be there for you.
  • IN CLASS: "I'll just do this at home." AT HOME: "I'll just do this in class."
  • That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth but you laugh during it, and everybody thinks you're lying.
  • Everything is funnier when you're with your bestfriend.
  • When I go to bed, half the time I'm not really sleeping. I'm usually lying there making up scenarios in my head...
  • I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
  • Restarting the whole song because you missed your favorite line.
  • I don't have an attitude problem... you have a problem with my attitude.
  • *Press a toy in the store* *won't stop making noises* *pretend that you dont know anything*
  • Sometimes, even if it wasn't funny, I respond "haha" just to make them feel good.
  • One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark.
  • Admit it, you've Googled yourself before.
  • Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot.
  • I remember when I was a kid, I went on the computer just to use paint.
  • Talking to yourself and laughing because you're just that hilarious
  • Yes, I'm a girl, I can go from normal to bitch in 2 seconds.
  • I act like I don't care, but deep inside, i don't give a f*ck
  • Boy or girl, I'm gonna call you "dude" either way.
  • People who text back instantly. I like that shit.
  • Parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!! Clock: 11:01 Me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now.
  • I love when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.
  • I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use x² + y +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 in real life.
  • "Hey, remember when you had a crush on-" "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
  • Strangers: "Excuse me, please." Family: "Let me get through." Best friends: "Get the fuck out of my way, bitch!"
  • There's always one girl in your school that is obsessed with horses.
  • If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.
  • That risky naked run from the bathroom, to the bedroom.
  • Doctor: "Ok, so what's wrong, how are you feeling?" Me: *Looks at mom waiting for her to explain*
  • You know you're desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of google.
  • If I'm in a bad mood DON'T TOUCH ME. Don't poke me, tickle me, grab me.. Nothing. I will break your arm.
  • The awkward moment when people text you first and then don't keep the conversation going.
  • Things I'm bad at: singing. Things I do a lot: sing.
  • First day of school: 30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 rulers, 10 notebooks. End of school year: 1 pencil you found in the hallway.
  • Stop making me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.
  • Mentally preparing yourself to step out of the shower during winter.
  • I'm the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened yesterday.
  • That weird awkward run you do when a car lets you cross the street.
  • That awkward moment when someone assumes you care about their opinion.
  • That one person that makes you want to raise your middle finger every time they speak to you.
  • That person in every class who thinks they are Albert Einstein. Calm your tits.
  • Me in class: Wait.... what happened? What do we do? What do we write? When's the test? What is this? How do you do this? What?
  • I hate when the teacher forgets to erase a few marks on the board.
  • That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a damn lightsaber to open it.
  • I mentally murder people I don't like.
  • 1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands,7 seas, over 6 billion people, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
  • GOING TO BED: Me: *lays down* Me: *forgot to turn the light off* Me: *has to pee* Me: *remembers homework*
  • That awkward moment when you get home and look at yourself in the mirror thinking…. did I really look like this all day?
  • If I say "ok" during an argument, that means "shut the fuck up", not "keep explaining your point".
  • ''MOM! i can't find it'' '' if i come up there and i'll see it... you're dead'' ''...found it.."
  • I eat my least favorite part of the meal first, to save the best for last.
  • I hate it when I ask someone if they want some of my food and they say "yes"
  • Dear teacher, When 90% of us fail, it isn't because we didn't try, its because you're a terrible teacher. Sincerely, your students.
  • Deleting one "ha" from from your "hahahahaha" because you feel like it's too much.
  • That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and you step on a random wet spot.
  • That awkward moment when you're not sure whether teacher is looking at you or she's looking at the person behind you...
  • The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you couldn't do.
  • "I'm going to bed" .. really means .. "I'm going to lie on my bed and be on my phone."
  • That awkward moment when you're supposed to be cleaning your room and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one.
  • Oh, I'm a few minutes late to class? Please, stare at me like I just killed five people.
  • There is always that one girl in your grade that is obsessed with horses.
  • *stalking crush on facebook.* *accidently likes picture from 2008.* *deletes facebook.* *sets computer on fire.*
  • When you're in bed and you can't sleep, so you just lay there making mental movies of perfect scenario's in life.
  • So tired from doing absolutely nothing all day.
  • Person: "Hey are you okay?" Me: "Yeah, just having a bad day...week...month...year...life...existence."
  • The only thing I gained from 2012 was weight.
  • I’m not anti-social, most people just suck.
  • Interrupt my sleep and I'll interrupt your breathing.
  • When my name's in a math problem: Class: *Stares at me* Me: "That's right bitches. I bought 60 watermelons."
  • That awkward moment when there's a hair in your mouth and you can't find it so you're just grabbing your tongue, in public.
  • I wish mirrors and pictures would get together and agree on what I really look like...
  • That awkward moment when someone walks in your room when you're singing.
  • Pretending to care about a teacher's personal life, to waste time in class.
  • That awkward moment when someone thinner than you says they’re fat. *bitch, If you’re fat then I must be the size of Jupiter*
  • I don't eat because I'm hungry. I eat because I'm bored.
  • That moment when you walk through a spider web and instantly become a karate master.
  • Texting with one finger because you're eating.
  • "Did you do the homework?" "No." "Okay good me neither, I'm not the only one."
  • It's all fun and games till you realize your Capri Sun doesn’t have a straw.
  • It's funny how you can do nice things for people all the time, and they never notice. But once you make one mistake, it's never forgotten.
  • That awkward moment when you're halfway through telling a story and you realize it's a stupid story...
  • I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.
  • "Hey, it's been 6 seconds, go check your phone again!" - My Brain
  • Apology accepted, trust denied.
  • My give-a-shits are like ninjas. You never see them.
  • When somebody says “10 years ago” I think about the 90’s instead of 2002.
  • I can't sleep with socks on.
  • That was actually pretty funny, but I don't like you. Therefore I won't laugh.
  • When I am available no one texts me. But when I am busy... BAM! Still no one texts me.
  • I'm the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened yesterday.
  • When there's a bug in the room? Me: "Challenge accepted!" When you find out this motherfucker can fly!? Shit just got real.
  • I never text you anymore? You know phones works both ways right?
  • Me: "I have to tell you this story about-" *starts laughing* *deep breath* Ok there was this... *starts laughing*
  • My life: Wake up, survive, sleep.
  • I wonder if I'm that friend everybody secretly hates.
  • Gasoline smells so good to me. Am I the only one?
  • When I say "I miss school", I mean I miss my friends and all the fun, not the school.
  • When you drop something and just stare at it because you're too lazy to pick it up.
  • Best feeling ever: Waking up and seeing you still got a couple hours to sleep.
  • Do you ever just wanna do a back flip but then you realize you can't.
  • I spent my entire childhood wishing I was older. Now I'm older... and it sucks...
  • The awkward moment when you have 9001 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
  • The awkward moment when you realize you're wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
  • There's a difference between... "okay" "okay?" "okay..." "okayy" and.. "K."
  • I love people I can be weird with.
  • I wish I could mute people in real life...
  • I'm sick of bitches, bitching about other bitches being bitches.
  • A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their wifi.
  • I hate it when i meow at cats and they dont meow back. Unbelievably rude...
  • Getting a text, but not remembering what you said before...
  • When you meet me, you think I am quiet. Then you get to know me and just wish I was quiet...
  • (taking a test) *circles yes* If yes please explain answer. *Erases answer* Circles No.
  • "WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY... Oh... Here it is..."
  • Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video?
  • I wanna be a nice person but everyone is so stupid.
  • We all have that one skinny friend who eats more than an elephant.
  • The awkward moment when you type your password into the username section and you hope that no one saw it.
  • Me a nerd? Haha no, I'm just making sure I don't end up working at McDonalds with you in the future.
  • I'm not a morning person or a night time person, I don’t think I’m even a person.
  • The only problem with you is that you exist.
  • Well maybe I can't sing but that doesn't mean I won't sing.
  • If you think I hate you I probably do bye.
  • Lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee...
  • Don't ask for my opinion then get mad when I tell you the truth.
  • I just don't have enough middle fingers for today.
  • Before you “assume” try this crazy method called “asking”.
  • Is it bad that I like food more than people?
  • Didn't give a fuck yesterday, don't give a fuck today, probably won't give a fuck tomorrow.
  • Going to bed...forgot to turn lights off...remembers homework...has to pee...
  • Person: You're blocking the view. Me: I am the view.
  • Can we just skip this whole "school" thing and go straight to the part where I have a really awesome job and spend all my time travelling.
  • I'm the type of person that wants to get good grades, but doesn't want to study.
  • Reasons to date me: 1. no one will try and steal me from you 2. sometimes im funny
  • Your existence pisses me off.
  • Whatever, I'll just date myself.
  • "Page 404 not found." But I wasn't even looking for page 404.
  • That awkward moment when you come back from something and someone decided to steal your seat.
  • People: "You're so quiet, you never talk." Me: "Oh I talk, just not to you."
  • That annoying moment when you're behind a slow walker and there's nothing you can do to get around them.
  • If I was a bird you would be the 1st person I'd shit on.
  • The only reason why i love school is because it's the place where all my friends are.
  • Sometimes i pretend to be normal. But it gets boring, so i go back to being me.
  • When I was a kid, I hated going to bed. Now I cherish every hour of sleep.
  • Hardest thing ever? Controlling your laughter at serious times.
  • I clapped because it finished, not because i liked it.
  • I do weird faces in photos because it's better to look ugly on purpose.
  • I restart the whole song when I miss my favorite part.
  • My relationship status: Went from being "single" to "still single".
  • Piece of advice: Don't fuck with me while I'm hungry...
  • I dont always understand a subject but when I do... Its after the test.
  • I have never actually seen a yellow duck.
  • Homework: If it goes too easy, you're doing it wrong.
  • That awkward moment when you accidentally use a ;) instead of a :) and it makes the whole conversation sexual.
  • That awkward moment when someone compliments you and you're torn between saying, "thank you" and "I know."
  • I think that school,red lights and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
  • I'm not arguing, I'm simply explaining why I am right.
  • Dating Advice: Date me.
  • Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
  • I left all my fucks to give at home.
  • That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent."
  • "Quick, everyone act natural!" *Everyone strikes the most unnatural pose ever*
  • Don't text me if you're gonna take 10 fucking years to text back.
  • I seriously had a better damn social life when I was about 8 years old.